2011 stats

2011 stats

Made a drunken ass of myself at an important family function, twice.

Briefly dated an ex-dominatrix who naturally turned out to be crazy. Slept with her “cougar” friend who also turned out to be crazy. Dated a southern girl who had lovely hair. She drank bourbon out of plastic cups and was a horrible driver. She often called me Mr. Griscom in a Russian accent during Climax. Giggle. Amazing.

Fell in love 4 times.

Adopted a dog with my best friends.

Grew a mustache and got promoted immediately.

Spent my birthday with my ex-wife. Our last Hooray. No regrets.

Watched 30 Giants games on my computer and 3 in person.

Got arrested, puked due to alcohol, and failed miserably with on-line dating with stats that are relative to my last two years. (For specifics please see 2009 and 2010 stats)

Choked the chain 378 times. Got caught twice.

Illegally defiled the streets of LA with street art, 12 times.

Had a great idea 5 times. Two of which might have been original.

Threw crumpled dollar bills at strippers, twice.

Had a laser shot into both eyes and woke up 12 hours later with perfect vision.

Worked on six reality TV shows.

Saw my credit on the big screen of a feature film, twice.

Drank at least 3 gallons of whiskey.

Broke down and cried my eyes out, once.

Was left out of a family obituary for the second time in five years.

Spent Christmas alone with my dog.

Don’t remember New Years.

Some years are better than others. This one was…. You decide.